i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
