please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize