Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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