hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
