Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
