come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
