So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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