drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Are my feet made of real feet?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
