did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
