I seem to have left my pride at pride
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
