I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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