Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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