I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
