Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
