Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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