I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize