i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
