how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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