oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I lost the right to judge tonight
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
