smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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