Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
