wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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