we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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