You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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