just tell him i said nine months
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
