The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
