xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
