You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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