Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
