your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
