she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
