dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
