after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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