i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
