The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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