Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
