i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
