she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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