some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
