i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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