ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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