Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I need water and some morals
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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