Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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