Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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