I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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