You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
