maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
