Dual....:-)
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
