man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
