So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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