Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
