This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
