Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize