This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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