Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
