i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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