you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
