when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
this will be a night to untag.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
