I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
