You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize