are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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