Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
