Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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