Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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