Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize