So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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