I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize