I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
