I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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