I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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