My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
