I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize