Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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