I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
