There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
